Rock & Roll Audit

When I walked in the first day
Couldn't believe what I saw
There was loud music playing
And dancing on the floor
The auditors were boppin'
The controller too
The Supervisor said,
"Hey what's the matter with you?"

"You're on a Rock & Roll Audit
You're on a Rock & Roll Audit
You're on a Rock & Roll Audit
Rockin' and rollin' all the time."

The room was all in shambles
Workpapers everywhere
Instead of ticks and ties
Red and blue was in their hair
With pins through their noses
And studs along their belts
A band was in the front
Led by the manager himself

I'm on a Rock & Roll Audit
I'm on a Rock & Roll Audit
I'm on a Rock & Roll Audit
Rockin' and rollin' all the time.

I thought for sure they'd shape up
When the partner came to call
I couldn't believe it
When they didn't change at all
Although he looked much older
I knew something was wrong
When the partner grabbed a guitar
Played a funky dancing song

I'm on a Rock & Roll Audit
I'm on a Rock & Roll Audit
I'm on a Rock & Roll Audit
Rockin' and rollin' all the time.

After standing there in shock
And wondering what to do
I ripped off my white shirt
And began to boogie too
Didn't care about the work
Only in it for the fun
Why can't it always be like this
With nothing getting done?

I'm on a Rock & Roll Audit
I'm on a Rock & Roll Audit
I'm on a Rock & Roll Audit
Rockin' and rollin' all the time.

Commentary

I wrote "Rock & Roll Audit" very quickly one day in 1985, on the subway home from work. I had been challenged to come back to work the next day with a new song, and although I expressed the doubt that I could do it, in fact I did. It was a big hit! Originally I would get two women to come up and go "Rock Rock" after each line of the refrain (I would call them the Johnettes) but over time I changed it to audience participation.

I haven't performed "Rock & Roll Audit" in many years, but for some reason I found myself singing it in the shower yesterday. What made this important is that for years (literally, years) I had forgotten the third verse, forgotten so completely that I started to doubt my memory that there had ever been a third verse. I don't know if I have a recording, or written out lyrics anywhere, so I had reconciled myself to the fact that I might never know for sure. Then yesterday I remembered it as clear as day.

Working on several musical pieces right now; finishing "Across The Table" which was never properly put to music, "Too Old For Christmas", my first holiday song, and a yet-to-be-titled song about forgiveness and communion.

Democracy

Here's something I put together yesterday. 

Clarence Center Coffee Company

I played the Tuesday Open Mike at Clarence Center Coffee Company last night, here are some pictures (used with the permission of photographer Matt Brown, http://www.brownbuffalo.com, thanks Matt!). I did "Sunday Morning", "Silent Carousel", "It Dawns", and "Song For Jonas". Accompanying me was Courtney on the Spanish box.

After that I stopped by Al-E-Oops for their open mike hosted by Eric Joseph. A treat was hearing Bob Farmer for the first time in a couple of years, as well as being accompanied by Pat on drums. I did "Things Aren't Gonna Change", "You are You", "Silent Carousel", "Church Street", and "Not Happy".

It Dawns

When I have too many drinks and I start to think

Feeling sorry for myself

I'm black and blue, and the world I knew

Goes from the bar to the top shelf
They give me words of advice, they try to be nice
But sometimes I just don’t care
When I’m feeling alone, I’d rather go home
Because there’s no one there

I’ll gonna be the way I choose
After I sleep off all the booze

Refrain:
And it dawns on me
Just what I’m looking for
It dawns on me
The way the past has come and gone
And the road that I am on

If I worry too hard about my cards
Then I won’t play the hand I’m dealt
It’s not as good as it gets and I have regrets
Sometimes that’s how I’ve felt
I can’t break apart the past from things that last
Soon tomorrow's yesterday
I’ve got nothing to gain from things I can’t explain
I try to stay out of my own way

Bridge:

I know that I will be all right

If I can get through one more night

Refrain

"Solo" Verse

Bridge:

I truth is I can’t separate
The sins from what’ll get me through the gate

Refrain

Commentary

Here's this week's song class song, based on a Paul Klee piece titled "It Dawns". Allow me to clarify that: based very loosely. I'm wishing this song class wouldn't be ending this week, I'm wishing it was ongoing permanently. The trick will be to keep the urgency alive.

The Silent Carousel

I lifted my hand up
To hold back the grey
In the twilight I saw leaves
That had fallen yesterday
I never thought that I would be
Strong enough to tell
All of you that I feel I’m on
A silent carousel.

They say that everyone builds walls
Some high and some are low
People decorate them brightly
Sit and stare out their window
I thought of climbing over
But too many times I fell
I wonder if I should just ride
This silent carousel

Bridge:
Maybe there’s another way
Somewhere we’ll run and hide
A place with lower rings that we can reach
Somewhere with a breeze
And a view of the ocean
Where we can safely watch from the beach

When things are getting warmer
How am I supposed to know
If I’m feeling summer’s light
Or being burned as fire grows
I went out to the store
I fit my new mask pretty well
Now you will see me smiling on
The silent carousel

If you listen hard you still won’t hear
The silent carousel

Commentary

This is the second song I've written for the songwriting class. I performed it last Tuesday and it received very nice compliments. I am very happy with these words. This song took quite a bit of work, and so for two weeks in a row I've proven that I can focus, and edit, and edit some more, and push myself, and have a solid work product at the end.

Today Is That Day

Today is that day
and I am the one
that carries the water
to the stream,
in a backwards dance.

Today is that day
and I am the one
standing in the kitchen
running back and forth,
noticing every breathe,
every whisper,
every movement of your eyes.

Today is that day
and I am the one
folded into an envelope;
tucked inside, tossed aside.

Today is that day
and I am the one
sitting, waiting for you.

Today is that day
and I am the one
that sees the light of the sunset
and watches the night
turn into a darkness
made of blue.

Today is that day
and I am the one
holding your essential sadness.

Sunday Morning

She woke up Sunday morning
Can't recall the night before
The outside light was on
And she had never closed the door

Not in the mood for breakfast
So she poured herself a drink
Stared around the empty house
And tried not to think

This quiet house
This quiet town
This quiet street
What happens now?

She woke up Sunday morning
With nowhere much to go
The kids were with their father
Exactly where, she didn't know

Sat down on the porch steps
No one walked by that she knew
Friends had tired of her sadness
They had better things to do

This quiet house
This quiet town
This quiet street
What happens now?

She woke up Sunday morning
And she talked to the TV
It said, "Next year will be better
Just you wait and see"

Commentary

I'm taking a songwriting class, and the assignment for this week was to write a song that had an "element" of the song we played last week. The song I played last week was "Church Street", so this one came from the thought of the quiet Sunday morning. It took me much longer to get to this mostly-finished state then most things I write; if it hadn't been an assignment I would have bailed out days ago. I'm not sure I like it but I'm sharing it anyway.

Follow-up

So on the way to class I was thinking about it, and I realized that the group would probably like this song more than I do. That was an understatement! They loved the song, and they were shocked when I was unsure about it. How 'bout that?

Failure

When I was young I made mistakes
I heard your voice, I saw your face
There's nothing left, nothing left for me
To say

I'm past the point of no return
There are things I'll just never learn

Once I was a failure
And I felt I was each day
Once I was a failure
I didn't know another way
I sat and stared at nothing
I sat and stared at me
Once I was a failure
And that's all, all I'll ever be

The mirror where I shave each day
Wish I saw myself in a different light
I tried to wash away my disgrace
Tonight

I'm past the point of no return
There are things I'll just never learn

Once I was a failure
And I felt I was each day
Once I was a failure
I didn't know another way
I sit and stare at nothing
I sit and stare at me
Once I was a failure
And that's all, all I'll ever be

The Other Half

It's said that half of life is just showing up.

I've decided that most of the other half is simply paying attention.

Has-Been

I’m looking in the mirror and I can’t see
The person I thought I was going to be
I look way too clean ‘cause I just shaved
Morning comes and I’m sure to bathe

I’m not addicted to anything that comes out of a bottle
Don’t drive without my seat belt
Not divorced from a runway model

I could-a been a has-been
Would-a been a should-a been
A one-time occasional fad
An ex-famous eccentric
Formerly prophetic
Past tense, no sense
Circumstance, irrelevance
On a comeback plan

Would be wearing tight pants and Doc Marten shoes
Driving a hundred miles an hour like drag racers do
My gut hanging out under a too small shirt
Gawking at the teens like an old pervert

I'd write power chord songs about sex, drugs, and rock & roll
Wearing fingerless, leather gloves
Singing juvenile songs from deep in my soul

I could-a been a has-been
Would-a been a should-a been
A one-time occasional fad
An ex-famous eccentric
Formerly prophetic
Past tense, no sense
Circumstance, irrelevance
On a comeback plan

I grew up to be normal with a job and a wife
Two children and a home and a quiet life
No would-a, should-a, could-a, I would have been a flop
Bills piling up and other shoes to drop

The kids kiss me goodnight before they fall to sleep
I think of things I didn't do
They would have been bad memories

I could-a been a has-been
Would-a been a should-a been
A one-time occasional fad
An ex-famous eccentric
Formerly prophetic
Past tense, no sense
Circumstance, irrelevance
On a comeback plan.

Comments

Going to be doing the solo thing pretty soon now ... walking down the hall the other day I thought to myself that at this age I should be a has-been. Sounds to me like an idea Paul Westerberg might have had, so this one rocks like Westerberg in the Grandpaboy mode, I'm hearing the first EP, not "Mono".

I Can Start

I am here
You are there
That's all there is to say
I could tell
The saddest story
And it wouldn't matter that much anyway

There's a world of difference between us
Distance isn't the only thing
Keeping us apart

Finally there's an ending
And I can start

The air is still
I can't hear
But I can breath a deeper breath
I look down
I look behind
I look left, look right, then again I'll look left

There's a world of difference between us
Distance isn't the only thing
Keeping us apart

Finally there's an ending
And I can start

Across The Table

Good morning, since you're standing
Would you top off my coffee cup
You've got bed hair, I've got no hair
You brew coffee better, but I was the first one up

I hear the children screming, but I'm dreaming
That there's no one here but me and you
I was just thinking 'bout when your winking
Was more than a game you played with the littlest two

If we sit across the table
I'm sure they'll be a moment that we recognize
The young look that we once saw in each other's eyes

If there were some way for us to get away
Everyone would see how I feel about you
You can believe me, you can see me
I will hold your hand when you're feeling blue

If we sit across the table
They'll be no way that we can ever disguise
The way we feel about each other, from the other's eyes

There's a simple answer to any problem
But it's not always so simple to see
If we can just keep holding on
Then we can hold on forever,
Hold on, hold on, hold on, to you and me

End of the day, everything is ok
As long as we can just talk quietly
We can look at each other, forget we're father and mother
We can be the couple that we still want to be

When we sit across the table
We don't have to ask questions, no who, what, or why
We just know all the answers to have, from each other's eyes

There the light that never goes out, in each other's eyes

Commentary

I began this one last year sometime. I'm still working through some of my song lyrics without music, song lyrics that need to be finished, and old ideas that are worth reviving. I described this one at the time I started it as "a love song without the word 'love' in it". It only needed minor tweaking last night and today.

The entry from last night, "Heels, With No Backs" began in an email to Shirley Spencer in 2006, in the same week that I wrote "Lost In Your Direction", "The Sun Shines In The Winter", "Things Aren't Gonna Change", and "It Is Today". I'll probably never be so prolific again, almost everything I started was worth finishing. Of the five songs "Heels" was the most unfinished, I've picked it up now and again and finally finished it this week.

Heels, With No Backs

You don't think style matters to me
And for the most part, that's true
Dresses or pants, sweaters or shirts
They all seem to look good on you

There are so many different fashions these days
But today you look especially nice
When I lower my eyes and look down at the floor
Honey, I know I don't have to think twice

You've had a long, long day
Put your feet up and relax
I love the way that you walk
In those heels, and no backs

Did you think that I was feeling downcast
Or that I'd dropped a coin on the street
Did you think I problems sleeping last night
Or that I was just back here staring at your seat

Let me watch you as you move around
I'll imagine that I'm young again
Let me kneel, let me kiss the ground
I'm getting far too old to pretend

You've had a long, long day
Put your feet up and relax
I love the way that you walk
In those heels, and no backs

10,000 Apologies

There's a stack of cards
From Hallmark days
There's a message in each and every one
That I wished that I could say

There are memories
That have come and gone
Fallen angels and troubled places
And names that I have worn

Oh I don't always know what to do
When it's clear that the problem is me
Oh my voice starts to get tired when I say
10,000 apologies

When I admit
That I don't know
Is there any way I can make it right
Is there anything I can show

Your angry face
And your hurtful stare
Are they etched in stone like history or can they
Fall away like air

Oh I don't always know what to do
When it's clear that the problem is me
Oh my voice starts to get tired when I say
10,000 apologies

Oh I know that my arms are tired
And I think that my soul is weak
Oh the night starts to get long when I have to say
10,000 apologies

Oh it's one thing to be sorry
And it's another to be sorry I'm me
Oh I'm marking off the days until I reach
10,000 apologies

Here With You

I folded my hands together
And hoped that you would stay
I know that our days are long
But that our time fades away
I remember that once we could laugh
At the stupid things we do
I need a place to keep my memories
I want to keep them here with you

Look behind you and you’ll see
The leaves have fallen down
Winter will bring colder nights
The air is still of sound
We could close the door and break
Away from what we knew
Or keep the memories in mind
As I build my life with you

When arguments all fall away
And the days turn into years
When I’m quiet in my bed
I hope that you’ll be near
To hold my hand and keep me strong
Fallen leaves are beautiful too
And in the place you keep our memories
I will be there with you