It Dawns

When I have too many drinks and I start to think

Feeling sorry for myself

I'm black and blue, and the world I knew

Goes from the bar to the top shelf
They give me words of advice, they try to be nice
But sometimes I just don’t care
When I’m feeling alone, I’d rather go home
Because there’s no one there

I’ll gonna be the way I choose
After I sleep off all the booze

Refrain:
And it dawns on me
Just what I’m looking for
It dawns on me
The way the past has come and gone
And the road that I am on

If I worry too hard about my cards
Then I won’t play the hand I’m dealt
It’s not as good as it gets and I have regrets
Sometimes that’s how I’ve felt
I can’t break apart the past from things that last
Soon tomorrow's yesterday
I’ve got nothing to gain from things I can’t explain
I try to stay out of my own way

Bridge:

I know that I will be all right

If I can get through one more night

Refrain

"Solo" Verse

Bridge:

I truth is I can’t separate
The sins from what’ll get me through the gate

Refrain

Commentary

Here's this week's song class song, based on a Paul Klee piece titled "It Dawns". Allow me to clarify that: based very loosely. I'm wishing this song class wouldn't be ending this week, I'm wishing it was ongoing permanently. The trick will be to keep the urgency alive.

The Silent Carousel

I lifted my hand up
To hold back the grey
In the twilight I saw leaves
That had fallen yesterday
I never thought that I would be
Strong enough to tell
All of you that I feel I’m on
A silent carousel.

They say that everyone builds walls
Some high and some are low
People decorate them brightly
Sit and stare out their window
I thought of climbing over
But too many times I fell
I wonder if I should just ride
This silent carousel

Bridge:
Maybe there’s another way
Somewhere we’ll run and hide
A place with lower rings that we can reach
Somewhere with a breeze
And a view of the ocean
Where we can safely watch from the beach

When things are getting warmer
How am I supposed to know
If I’m feeling summer’s light
Or being burned as fire grows
I went out to the store
I fit my new mask pretty well
Now you will see me smiling on
The silent carousel

If you listen hard you still won’t hear
The silent carousel

Commentary

This is the second song I've written for the songwriting class. I performed it last Tuesday and it received very nice compliments. I am very happy with these words. This song took quite a bit of work, and so for two weeks in a row I've proven that I can focus, and edit, and edit some more, and push myself, and have a solid work product at the end.

Today Is That Day

Today is that day
and I am the one
that carries the water
to the stream,
in a backwards dance.

Today is that day
and I am the one
standing in the kitchen
running back and forth,
noticing every breathe,
every whisper,
every movement of your eyes.

Today is that day
and I am the one
folded into an envelope;
tucked inside, tossed aside.

Today is that day
and I am the one
sitting, waiting for you.

Today is that day
and I am the one
that sees the light of the sunset
and watches the night
turn into a darkness
made of blue.

Today is that day
and I am the one
holding your essential sadness.

Sunday Morning

She woke up Sunday morning
Can't recall the night before
The outside light was on
And she had never closed the door

Not in the mood for breakfast
So she poured herself a drink
Stared around the empty house
And tried not to think

This quiet house
This quiet town
This quiet street
What happens now?

She woke up Sunday morning
With nowhere much to go
The kids were with their father
Exactly where, she didn't know

Sat down on the porch steps
No one walked by that she knew
Friends had tired of her sadness
They had better things to do

This quiet house
This quiet town
This quiet street
What happens now?

She woke up Sunday morning
And she talked to the TV
It said, "Next year will be better
Just you wait and see"

Commentary

I'm taking a songwriting class, and the assignment for this week was to write a song that had an "element" of the song we played last week. The song I played last week was "Church Street", so this one came from the thought of the quiet Sunday morning. It took me much longer to get to this mostly-finished state then most things I write; if it hadn't been an assignment I would have bailed out days ago. I'm not sure I like it but I'm sharing it anyway.

Follow-up

So on the way to class I was thinking about it, and I realized that the group would probably like this song more than I do. That was an understatement! They loved the song, and they were shocked when I was unsure about it. How 'bout that?

Failure

When I was young I made mistakes
I heard your voice, I saw your face
There's nothing left, nothing left for me
To say

I'm past the point of no return
There are things I'll just never learn

Once I was a failure
And I felt I was each day
Once I was a failure
I didn't know another way
I sat and stared at nothing
I sat and stared at me
Once I was a failure
And that's all, all I'll ever be

The mirror where I shave each day
Wish I saw myself in a different light
I tried to wash away my disgrace
Tonight

I'm past the point of no return
There are things I'll just never learn

Once I was a failure
And I felt I was each day
Once I was a failure
I didn't know another way
I sit and stare at nothing
I sit and stare at me
Once I was a failure
And that's all, all I'll ever be